January 21 2010
My Darling Girl,
It's 12:54 (Central time) in the afternoon.
I'm exactly 26 weeks and 5 days pregnant with you. (93 days to go, according to the excited lippy on my blog).
Only a few months left 'till I can see your pretty face, touch your skin and hold you in my arms. It seems that you own my heart, my mind and my soul, since there is no one else I rather love, think about or cherish.
I love you. I fall in love with you as soon as I wake up in the morning, and when I go to bed I fall asleep dreaming of you at night.
It's hopeless. It's done. I'm yours forever.
You've given me so much already and you don't even know it.
You've made me stronger, since the fact of knowing that I'm carrying the miracle that you are, makes any problem or any obstacle seem mundane and obsolete. You have me leaping mountains!
You've helped me grow spiritually (and physically!) Never before have I ever felt so capable of loving and nurturing.
Every day you've made sure there is joy and beauty in the world just by your existence.
With every little kick I feel your presence, therefore I'm never lonely or foregone.
You have started to get the hiccups, which at first scared me a lot. You are my first baby so since I'm new at this pardon the transgression. I'll never be afraid anymore.
But a brief thought or possibility of not having you in my life and I'm Done.
So you see...it IS Love.
Pure and Joyful love because it comes from you.
Patient love, because even thou it can be torture, this long wait to hold you, to meet you, it's just a reminder of the sweet reward of time.
And you are the best, my sweet. My one and only.
My Beloved. My darling.
I wish I could bare all the problems you would have to bare; I wish I could erase all words of hate and anger, so you would never have to speak them. I wish to see all the beauty in the world and give it to you, so that would be the only truth your eyes would ever see. I wish I could carry any grief and sadness for you, spare you heartbreak and broken dreams. And even thou I know you'll bare these things, and overcome them and grow stronger and wiser from them, this knowledge does not come as console, since the only comfort I would ever seek it's your smile, and the only truth I want to know is that of your happiness.
I can't promise to fight your battles, but I can promise to fight them with you.
You'll be never alone, and find in me a safe harbor.
For you are my sweetheart, my baby, my love.
You'll be a light to the world, as shining light you are to me.
And this knowledge I already have, of your strength, your intelligence, does not come alone as a product of my fervent adoration, but I'm happy to report, that doctors and midwifes all have agreed. Boy you are something!
You already respond to sounds! At 20 weeks you reacted to your uncle's Rainier's voice.
A couple of weeks ago you fell in love with your daddy's.
You hit hard when you dislike something (so great! Always stand up for yourself!!).
You console me when I'm sad, and we seldom fall asleep listening to our favorite Chopin's Nocturne, opus 9 no 2.
Oh I know, I just know how special you will be. With the certainty of mornings, of the changing Fall leaves. With the certainty of the the Infinite Love of God, of the existence of truth, of love and laughter.
You Will Be Grand. You already are.
But most important, Oh you will be Loved! You already are.
Thanks for making each day a Blessing.
Mama can't wait to meet you.
With more love than words can talk,
Malliling.-
